Red Sox kick fans right in the gut...

...or maybe a little south of there. Good thing I wear my cup while watching games!

The Yankees completed a three-game series sweep of the Red Sox with an excruciating, 5-4 13-inning victory last night. The game was a real roller-coaster ride, with each team continually getting runners to third base with zero or one out and failing to score in the late and extra innings. Players were moving around the defense like it was a merry-go-round, with Kevin Millar playing three different positions, wearing three different gloves (and using none of them) in a bizarre bottom of the 12th inning. When it looked like Boston had finally put the game away with Manny Ramirez' second home run of the night, a solo shot in the top of the 13th, the Sox put their heavy boots on and reared back.

One out from winning a big game in New York City is not where we want to be as Red Sox fans.

After Miguel Cairo's leadoff triple in the bottom of the 12th, things became truly bizarre, with manager Terry Francona filling traditional gaps in the infield defense and creating non-traditional gaps in the outfied defense. This was accomplished primarily by moving Millar around. First, with Jason Giambi pinch hitting for the injured Derek Jeter (who hurt himself flying into the stands in making a spectacular catch of Trot Nixon's popup in the top of the 12th), Millar donned an infielder's glove and covered third base, with the rest of the infield swinging around to the right side. After Giambi struck out, Millar grabbed a first baseman's mitt and covered first base, with left-handed throwing first baseman David McCarty moving to the second baseman's slot. After Sheffield was hit by the pitch, Millar moved to back to right field for an intentional walk to Alex Rodriguez. Then he was back in motion, back to first base while Bubba Crosby hit a ground ball to shorstop Pokey Reese (a ball Reese likely would have fielded in a traditional defensive setting), forcing Cairo at third base. The defense was again restored to normal for Curtis Leskanic's strikeout of Bernie Williams.

Asked about the defensive histrionics in an exlusive* interview with Joe's SeaBlog, Red Sox manager Terry Francona explained the moves.

"We're all kind of sick of Millar's bat. I think Pokey is the only guy with a lower slugging percentage on the team. We figured, if he's going to hit like a utility infielder, we'll play him like one. We were just (messing) with him, really. He's got a great sense of humor."

"It was a lot of fun. I like to do lots of different things during the game," said Millar in another exclusive* interview.

Asked why Millar wasn't put at second base instead of McCarty, Francona offered, "David is a better fielder than Kevin. Everybody knows you want your better fielder at second base." When it was suggested that having a left handed thrower play second was rather unusual, Francona waved off the question. "Everybody can plainly see that David McCarty bats right handed."

Things brightened considerably for the Red Sox in the top of the 13th, when Ramirez (who simply owns Tanyon Sturtze) led off with a line drive home run to left field. The Sox had a one run lead, Tanyon Sturtz on the mound and also in the batting lineup with DH Bernie Williams now in center field, and Gary Sheffield now playing third base for the first time in a decade. Millar benefitted from an errant throw from Sheffield following Jason Varitek's third strikeout of the evening, and McCarty was issued a walk. Super utility man Cesar Crespo ended the rally by jumping on the first pitch for an inning-ending double play.

Asked if he had ever considered having Crespo, who literally is not batting his own weight (which is 170), try to lay a bunt down the third base line to take advantage of the fact that A FREAKING RIGHT FIELDER WAS PLAYING THERE!, Francona replied, "Well, yes, I considered that. But Crespo has been struggling with the bat, and Sturtze really stinks. We thought that giving Cesar a chance to get his bat going against a poor pitcher might pay dividends later in the season, if we again found ourselves relying on his bat after bringing him into the game as a defensive replacement."

Still, things looked good for the Red Sox, as Leskanic easily retired Jorge Posada and Tony Clark to start the bottom of the 13th. One out from victory is often a sign of trouble to come, however. Ruben Sierra bled a single through the middle, and Babe Cairo followed with a double to tie the score. With the pitcher due to bat, backup catcher John Flaherty (another guy who isn't hitting his own weight) was the only hitter available to Yankee manager Joe Torre. He proved to be enough, however, ending the game by bouncing a double over the left field fence.

Asked in an exclusive* interview about getting through the slugging likes of Giambi, Sheffield, ARod and Posada, only to be undone by three has-beens and never-weres in the end, Leskanic replied angrily. "Don't talk to me about has beens. I got waived by the freaking Royals last week. What do you expect?"

After the game, a baseball insider (who wished to remain anonymous) explained the Yankee-Red Sox rivalry to Joe's SeaBlog in yet another exclusive* interview.

"What a lot of people don't understand, and what Red Sox fans don't want to know, is that it would be bad business for the Sox to win a World Series. See, the team is hugely popular, and the fanatic followers all want to be there to see them 'the year' they finally win. And if they win, that will be great - for a while. But long term it doesn't work, because then you would lose all of those fans who want to say they were 'at the game when...'. If the Sox win the Series, they lose a lot of attendance over the long term. And the Red Sox need that attendance to keep up financially with the Yankees, because even though Boston is one of the largest markets in baseball, New York is still more than five times bigger. So the Sox put a strong enough product on the field to create the illusion of a shot at a championship, but they are never as good as the Yankees. To even remotely compete with the Yankees financially, they can never beat them for a championship.

"That's the hard news for Red Sox fans. That, and last night's loss, has to really feel like a kick in the (testicles)!"

*So exclusive that even he wasn't aware of it.